Wedding Toast Do's and Don'ts

If you're reading this, chances are you're gearing up to give a wedding toast—maybe as the best man, maid of honor, parent, or close friend. First off, congrats! Being asked to speak at someone’s wedding is a big honor. But let's be real—it can also feel terrifying. How do you keep it heartfelt without being awkward? Funny without going off the rails?

As a professional wedding planner, I’ve heard a lot of toasts—some that had guests reaching for tissues (the good kind) and others that had us all wishing for an intermission. So, let me share some do's and don’ts to help you deliver a wedding toast that’s genuine, memorable, and loved by all.

✅ DO: Keep It Short and Sweet

Aim for 2–3 minutes max. Seriously. This isn’t the time for a TED Talk. Keep it focused, intentional, and emotionally impactful. The best wedding toasts are like great champagne—bubbly, brief, and best when shared.

❌ DON’T: Wing It

You may think, “I’ll just speak from the heart!” While that sounds noble, even the most confident speakers benefit from preparation. Jot down a few key points or write out your toast ahead of time. Practicing helps you stay calm, confident, and clear on the big day.

✅ DO: Tell a Meaningful Story

A personal anecdote that highlights the couple’s love, growth, or personality is a total win. Maybe it’s how the bride used to talk about her partner before they were engaged. Or the way the groom changed (for the better) after meeting his now-spouse. Keep it authentic and focused on them.

❌ DON’T: Make It All About You

Yes, you're speaking. But this isn’t your moment to relive college shenanigans or spotlight your own relationship status. Shift the focus back to the couple. Think of yourself as the narrator—not the star.

✅ DO: Toast, Don’t Roast

A little humor is great. But if the joke requires a long explanation or comes with an inside story that no one else understands, skip it. Avoid anything that could embarrass the couple or make Grandma blush.

❌ DON’T: Mention Exes, Drama, or… That One Night in Vegas

Seems obvious, right? You’d be surprised how many toasts include an accidental landmine. Keep it classy. If you’re unsure whether something is appropriate, it probably isn’t. Stick with content you’d feel comfortable sharing at a family dinner.

✅ DO: Practice Ahead of Time

Run your toast by a friend or even record yourself reading it aloud. Pay attention to timing, tone, and clarity. Practicing will help smooth out any awkward spots and reduce nerves when it's go-time.

❌ DON’T: Forget to Actually… Toast

End with a heartfelt note of congratulations and raise your glass! Something like, “To a lifetime of love and laughter,” or “Here’s to the start of your forever.” It’s a sweet tradition that ties it all together.

Bonus Tips from a Wedding Planner:

• Keep a copy of your speech on your phone or in your pocket.

• If you're nervous, focus on the couple and their love story—it helps take the pressure off you.

• Make eye contact and smile. People are rooting for you!

• Remember, it’s okay to get emotional. Just breathe and take your time.

Final Thoughts

Giving a wedding toast is a beautiful way to honor the couple and celebrate their big day. With a little prep and a lot of heart, you can give a speech that’s remembered for all the right reasons.

Looking for more wedding planning tips? Whether you're a guest, a couple planning your big day, or part of the wedding party, check out my other blog posts for advice, inspiration, and expert insights. You can also reach out if you're searching for a seasoned wedding planner who handles every detail with care!